The place where everyone hangs out, chats, gossips, and argues
By Naomi's Boss
#264846
I dunno - could push the boat out to 14 and 6 and all the root crops he could manage...

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Girls are stupid, they cry a lot
Girls are weak, wrap them in carpet
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By Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog
#264847
shouldn't you be reporting on the fa cup or something?
By Naomi's Boss
#264849
Not really. Although it is still 0-0 after 19 mins if you're that interested.
________________________
Girls are stupid, they cry a lot
Girls are weak, wrap them in carpet
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By nood
#264891
A job in Norwich... All the root crops I could manage?

Throw in a copy of the Radio Times and I'm sold.
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By Yudster
#264899
Hav e you ever actually met a mangel-wurzel nood?!
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By nood
#264915
No, I've never fed anything to a cow. They're nosey bastards, cows.
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By foot-loose
#264916
I watched a cow work out it could escape from its field if it jumped the fence. It took a run, a jump and was on its merry way to discover exactly how much greener the grass was over there.

The thing that made me collapse with laughter was when its cow friend, who had watched all this, decided to do the same thing except further down the field. It took a run, a jump and promptly fell into a cow sized hole on the other side, completly dissappearing from view. This was backed up a few seconds later with a rather pissed off "moooo".

Im easily pleased. :lol:
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By nood
#264920
bless it.

This was years ago - a friend had some kind of loudspeaker in their car - something to do with CB Radio. He took me to a road next to a field of cows put the loudspeaker on and proceeded drive slowly alongside the field, mooing. All the cows followed the car.

I'm also easily pleased.
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By foot-loose
#264922
My friend told me a story about how his mate had crashed his car off a road and into a field. The road was about six foot above the field below it. When the car crashed, it landed on top of a cow killing it instantly. I found this highly amusing as I was picturing some sort of cartoon where there is an undamaged car sitting on top of a flat cow with two legs sticking out each side.

My friend got a bit worked up over this, as his mate could have been hurt. This made me worse. I suppose you had to be there, but its in keeping with the cow based anecdotes.

The farmer was pretty raging since he was now a cow down, I think the insurance covered it though!
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By nood
#264925
I bet all the other cows gathered round for a look.
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By DemonHorse
#264929
foot-loose wrote:I watched a cow work out it could escape from its field if it jumped the fence. It took a run, a jump and was on its merry way to discover exactly how much greener the grass was over there.

The thing that made me collapse with laughter was when its cow friend, who had watched all this, decided to do the same thing except further down the field. It took a run, a jump and promptly fell into a cow sized hole on the other side, completly dissappearing from view. This was backed up a few seconds later with a rather pissed off "moooo".

Im easily pleased. :lol:


Oh the times you really need a video camera for.... wouldda got £250 at least..
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By Yudster
#264950
See, how can anyone say Norfolk is boring after stories like that?!
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By Boboff
#264954
This reminds me of a friend I had at young farmers, he used to walk back from the pub across his fathers fields, and watching cows sleep whilst standing he would punch them in the mouth and they would fall over, funny at the time, but really rather sick in the retelling !
By funkyseaweed
#265044
boboff wrote:This reminds me of a friend I had at young farmers, he used to walk back from the pub across his fathers fields, and watching cows sleep whilst standing he would punch them in the mouth and they would fall over, funny at the time, but really rather sick in the retelling !


Is that what is referred to as cow tipping? I've never done it, but I had some friends at school who lived in the countryside and when they went out on the p1ss they'd go cow tipping on their way home. Sounds kind of funny, but cruel.
By Ballbag
#265055
I tried cow tipping once, and have two pieces of advise, 1. check that the cows are actually asleep, and 2. make sure it is a dairy herd (i.e. all ladies, no bulls). We neglected to do either.
Our drunken "cow tipping" soon turned in a very sobering game of "bull running away from". My friend almost peeled his back off diving through some barbed wire fence to escape the very much awake and angry bull.......... not a fun evening.
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By Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog
#265160
Or don't actually do it because its dangerous and pathetic.
By Ballbag
#265161
Indeed Gaspode, and that was exactly the lesson I learnt.
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By nood
#265166
Yudster wrote:See, how can anyone say Norfolk is boring after stories like that?!

Was it in Norfolk, foot-loose?
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By foot-loose
#265175
Nope, my cow based anecdotes are from the very north of Scotland, near a place called Wick.

However, if it provides a comedy answer, then yes of course, norfolk was where i was!
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By SAV1OUR
#265176
Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog wrote:shouldn't you be reporting on the fa cup or something?


Come on Blackpool! Hopefully Delia will put them all off and we'll shove a few sticks of rock down her wailing tonsils, I hope that came out right.
By Naomi's Boss
#265233
Erm, not really likely, but good luck anyway.

But enjoy what will undoubtedly be your own cup final :)
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By Adam
#265254
I gotta admit, Norwich did rather well the other day?!
By Naomi's Boss
#265271
Well, I'm not a Norwich fan - just happen to live here at the moment. Is four in and one out that good against Tamworth?
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By Adam
#265284
Naomi's Boss wrote:Well, I'm not a Norwich fan - just happen to live here at the moment. Is four in and one out that good against Tamworth?


The fact that Dion and Darren scored is amazing to be honest. I'm not a massive follower of Norwich City (maybe Jono Read is!, I dont know) but hey it was Tamworth, so nothing special.
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