Celebrity Raspberry, the SoundMachine, Articles & Moyles Usenet Postings
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By Chris
Below is a list of some of the regular features from the Chris Moyles radio show. This list is by no means complete so please contact us with any corrections or additions.

6 o'clock Moment (c1997)

From the 'Early Bit' (early breakfast) show. Chris would play a song, usually from the 80's and get a member of the team to sing along with it. Unbeknown to them, Chris would sometimes drop the backing track so they were singing a cappella, which could sound quite awful.

The 78 Days of Christmas / Inverness Christmas Light Switch On (2003)

Chris complained that he has never been asked to switch on a town's Christmas lights, as Leeds always pick people like Darius ahead of him, so he asked for suggestions of towns he could visit. The finalists were: Swansea , Kidderminster and Inverness . Inverness won on a text-vote after Gerry Reynolds (the town's representative) said he would have custom kilts made for the team. They presented the show and turned on the lights in Inverness on 27th November 2003.

Aled's Sweet Sixteens (2003)

Aled chooses a few of his favourite records which only reached number sixteen in the chart and plays one of them in full. This was because Sara Cox was running 'Coxy's Big Ones' and Colin and Edith were doing 'Colin and Edith's Number Twos' whilst covering breakfast. Aled thought playing number threes would be too predictable, so he chose 'Sweet Sixteens', being as it was one of his favourite numbers. He chose the surprisingly credible list of: Dream Warriors - Wash Your Face In My Sink, Manic Street Preachers - You Love Us, Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Two Tribes, The Lightning Seeds - Pure, and The Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Californication.

The Afternoon Mystery Sound (2003)

Chris would play a sound effect (such as a dog, sheep or car) a caller would have to guess what it was. If you won you would receive the sum of 25p (and winners actually did receive a cheque). This was a blatant rip off of Capital FM's "Mystery London Sound", and was accompanied by very tacky music. This feature polarised the audience more than any other, between those who loved the feature and those who wondered what the hell it was. It was probably most appreciated by those who listen to commercial radio in addition to Radio 1.

At home with the Penks (c1996)

Chris made sketches about what he imagined life would be like inside his fellow Capital FM DJ Steve Penk's house. Needless to say, Steve did not take kindly to this.

Bang Will's Head Against the Studio Window (2001)

Will Kinder would wear a helmet, then bang his head as many times as he could against the studio window in 30 seconds. For some reason Will didn't think this idea was very safe, so didn't bang his head particularly hard. This feature was accompanied by a nice little jingle similar to Dizzy Lizzie.

BB Aled (c2001-2006)

Short for Big Brother Aled, this feature involves daily updates from Channel 4's Big Brother TV show. When series two of Big Brother started in 2001, Aled (a Big Brother obsessive) was working on Dave Pearce's show, where he encouraged Chris to watch the show. Chris invited Aled to give a one off review of the first show, but it went down well enough for BB Aled to be born. He popped in every day giving updates of the show, including eviction exclusives, to the annoyance of Big Brother's Little Brother, which started 45 minutes later. BB Aled is shot by Chris at the end of the every series, but is then reincarnated next year, even when Aled's proper job moved to 4 AM. When Chris moved to the morning show BB Aled was reborn in a more limited role, providing far less frequent updates. BB Aled became so well known, to both Moyles and Big Brother fans, that people couldn't quite accept he is just called Aled for a quite long time.

Big Blubber (2001 - 2003)

In 2001 Chris announced that he was sick of being fat, so made a new year's resolution to start training. This was accompanied with weekly updates on the show every Thursday from 'Gym Lady Jane' (and later Scott), who would give one of the team a ' Licky Licky Brown Nose' award for the most effort every week. Unsurprisingly, the team where genuinely competitive with regards to this amazing accolade. The team would usually go training in the park, where they where sometimes photographed by 3am and Heat. Chris ' greatest achievement from this training was doing the Great North Run in an incredible 1 hour 57 minutes, reaching his lowest weight since he was a teenager, but for some reason he decided to stop regular training in 2003 and became fat again. The end.

Blob-Busters (1999, 2002)

In a tribute to 'Blockbusters', Chris played the host as 'Blob Holmes', and team members would be the contestants. Blob would ask questions such as "What C did Nelson Mandela find in his garden?", "What P is Garry Glitter", "Which JT visited a London nightspot?" and "Which Radio 1 DJ paid money to a prostitute to have a good time with?".

Bus Stop Bingo (2002)

Whilst in Mark and Lard's studio in Manchester , the team had the unusual luxury of a window, which faces Oxford Road, which is actually the busiest bus route in Europe . This allowed the them to play Bus Stop Bingo, where each team member had a bingo card with bus numbers on, and took it in turns to check as many off as possible "according to which busses they saw" in a minute. This feature didn't really work, due to some team members not understanding the rules of bingo and some unfortunate traffic lights.

Buzz Off (2004

Chris brings a song from his eclectic home CD collection for the three other team members and the audience to decide how long it should be played for. After each representative is bored of the song they 'buzz' it off. It was first decided that the audience buzzed when 2000 text messages had been received, but it then changed to a text vote. The theme for this feature is Maria Callas - O Mio Babbino Caro. Songs which went down particularly badly included Royksopp, Nick Kershaw and, sadly, The Beautiful South. A little known fact about this feature is that Dave wanted to call it 'Bell End'.

Camp Cops (2001)

A set of short daily sketches, where Chris, Dave and Will would put on camp voices pretending to be policemen for their 'UK Bilge' show, where they would be in situations such as mistaking hairdryers for pistols.

Car Park Catchphrase (2004-)

Two callers compete to get the best of three points by guessing which famous phrase or proverb Chris is describing with the use of Mr Fish (for copyright reasons). Both callers are in their cars and 'buzz in' with their horns when they think they know the answer. Clips of the 'legendary' Roy Walker appear every day to announce the competition. The idea was originally piloted (without much success) in September 2003, but turned up on Chris ' first breakfast show in January the following year. For younger readers, Catchphrase is a cheap ITV programme originally hosted by Roy Walker featuring 'Chips'. We can only assume that its longevity means that it continues to receive a positive reaction from the audience.

Car-e-oke (2001)

Usually four people in their cars have to sing along to a popular song. The didn't tend to have/know the lyrics, so regularly fluffed it up and sung out of time. One of the highlights of this feature was when one of the contestants was almost arrested for pulling in on the side of the road.

Celebdaq (2003)

Paddy O'Connell would be on the line, to cross promote Celebdaq - the (no longer existent) BBC celebrity stock exchange website and TV show, which he presented at the time. He would usually offer tips (which were hugely inaccurate) and general knowledge plus news about showbiz, alongside large amount of surreal camp-banter with Chris . Rachel didn't seem to like the idea too much and managed to get Celebdaq 'axed' from the show when it moved to breakfast.

Celebrity Raspberry (2010-11)

A celebrity would record themselves blowing a raspberry and callers would guess the identity of that celeb. Clues were issued each day as to the mystery raspberry-blower. If no caller had correctly identified the celeb after the fifth day, the competition would be opened to texters, with the first text in being declared the winner. The prize was a set of mugs featuring the faces of the team members.

Challenge the Team (c2001 - 2002)

Callers would phone the show and nominate a team member for a particular challenge, usually a question. The team would often become very 'matey' and cut the caller off if they didn't know the answers. It was usually just a feature to fill time but sometimes demonstrated a shocking lack of general knowledge.

Chicks win Ticks (2004)

Another vehicle for giving away football tickets on a Friday, two women would phone in to win tickets to one of the weekend's football games. Juliet would ask a quick fire question to determine the winner.

The Comic Relief Football Challenge (2001, 2003)

Chappers (Mark Chapman) from Sara Cox's show and Comedy Dave toured around all of the Premier League clubs in England and Scotland in 2001 and the 92 football league clubs in the UK in 2003, within a week, to collect merchandise which a listener could win by phoning/texting in. To replace Dave on the show they had Dermot O'Leary all week in 2001, whilst in 2003 they used a more exotic line up of: Tony Blackburn, Pete Waterman, Gail Porter, Michael Greco and briefly Ray Stubbs & Mark Lawrenson, who were progressively less entertaining as the week went by. Dave regularly phoned in with updates and satellite delay gags.

Dave's Dictionary Definitions (2003)

Dave would read out the incorrect definition for a word from the dictionary, and Chris would correct him. For example: "Cricket bat, verb, a type of stocky, burying Australian animal resembling a small bear". Chris : "No, Dave, that's a wombat." This feature was born from a name suggested by a listener, but only lasted a week.

Dave's Introductory Service (c2001-2003)

A bit of a vague feature in its format, basically involving two or more people guessing song titles as fast as possible from their introductions. At one time Dave would play against a caller as a regular feature but more recently it has devolved into an occasional feature where members of the team compete. Dave usually wins.

Dave's Tedious Link

See 'tedious link'

Dick Cheese (2000)

Character based on the style of local FM travel reports. Dick featured in situations such as interference cutting out the road names he was reporting on. It was sponsored by: "Robinson's Fruit Preserves - the only sort of jam you look forward to getting stuck in".

Dizzy Lizzie (2001)

Lizzie is be put in a swivel chair and spun for 30 seconds whilst listening to nauseating music. Then she would be pushed off and made to carry an apple and orange. It was accompanied by a lovely little jingle too. The feature was created after a listener suggested the name Dizzy Lizzie for a feature.

Dog or Person (2004)

Dave suggested various names, such as 'Roley', 'Wolf' and 'Fred', and the team had to decide if they where a dog or a person. Following this there was a numbers round, where you had have to convert some dog years into human years. Needless to say, like all of Dave's quizzes, this one didn't quite work as he planned, partly to do with its hideously complicated scouring system.

Donkey Gong, Cannon and Bell , Chicken Drumsticks (2002)

Quiz invented by Dave, which would start with a Donkey sound effect and end with a Gong sound effect, for example. Chris would ask general knowledge questions to two callers until the end sound effect, and the winner would win 'diddly-squat'.

Easy Portuguesie (2004)

During Euro 2004 the team presented the show from a villa in Portugal , and Dave tried to teach Chris some Portuguese phrases every day, despite the fact he can't speak any Portuguese himself.

The Erm Game (c2000-)

Chris gets a clip of a famous person who happens to say 'erm' a lot, and the team have to guess how many times they say "erm" in the given time. It's as simple as that. Some might say that this game was stolen from another DJ called Nick Abbot (on Virgin Radio in 1994), but although the name is the same, the workings of it are very different. By Chris' own admission, they don't play this game more than every six months.

FA Aled (2002-2003)

Basically a Fame Academy version of BB Aled, as a bit of shameless BBC cross promotion and a way to fill in the dead last half hour of the show. Aled seemed to enjoy it, but Chris clearly didn't care, and didn't even watch the show very often. During the first series Chris had all the finalists in the Live Lounge for the audience to vote on. Aled also spent some time in the house with a group of journalists to hype up the first series. Sadly, Chris never played the tape of Aled singing... maybe he is reading this…?

Fire at Will (2003)

The team throw assorted objects at Producer Will in the studio, and he has to guess what they are. They only played this game once as he was genuinely quite angry when they threw a full can of lager at him. The idea was born when the team asked listeners to send in potential names for features.

Flat Idol (2004)

Aled had a rat in his flat, which led to Chris to discovering that his flatmates where scrounging off him and didn't have jobs. Every day Chris played clips of potential new flatmates so Aled could decide if they were suitable. The feature came to a sudden halt when Aled announced that his flatmates had all now got jobs (although this was obviously pre-planned).

Freebies at Five (2002)

The team (and George the newsreader) would suggest which products they would like to be donated by companies in exchange for an on air mention. They received many whimsical donations including Pizza, Lager, KFC, Clearasil, Yoghurt Pie, Action Men, Shampoo and Wonderbras. Technically only Chris and Dave where allowed to take their products home, as the others are all BBC staff and are thus not allowed to accept such gifts under BBC guide lines. Fascinating.

Frog or Dog

Another of Dave's little features, from the Saturday show. Two callers are on the line, and one has to do an impression of a frog, the other a dog. One variation was 'International Frog or Dog'.

Girls Going to Football

Saturday show feature. Chris invited women to phone in and predict the day's football scores. Dave would then usually predict the day's scores with far greater accuracy himself. There where several comedy alternatives suggested such as such as 'dames going to games' and 'bitches at the pitches'. During the closed season the feature once changed into 'Boys Going Shopping', where men would phone in to tell the team about where they were going shopping, and the team would often suggest ways to avoid this.

Ghettolife (2000)

Chris' comedy band 'Ghettolife' where: Chris (singing), Dave as "Chock Ice" (rapping), Melinda and Producer Rhys playing the guitar. They composed a song called 'Be My Baby', which was a cliche-ish love long with such genius lyrics as: "You make me laugh; you're sweet and funny, You call me cute names like fluffy bunny." They used to talk about the band on the show a lot, but when Melinda and Rhys left they collapsed. They actually recorded their song at Abbey Road studios professionally, but they then refused to play or release it. They did eventually play part of the song several years later to Pete Waterman and also Simon Cowell, check the sound vault.

Gym Idol (2003)

When Gym Lady Jane (the team's old trainer) left the country it was necessary to find her replacement. The applicants (suggested by Jane) included: a very strict man from the Marines (who specialised in military training), a man who had a lisp, a woman who promised to always wear a g-string, and a woman with huge breasts. Everyone was genuinely amazed when the team chose Scott, the bloke with a lisp, as they liked his training session and thought his lisp would make him funny on the show.

The Great Receptionist Stopwatch Challenge (2001)

Another feature which was invented to fill the extra hour of the show when Simon Mayo left, this one was a tribute to Banzai, which was the flavour of the month at the time. Dave would phone up a secretary, asking them to 'hold' because someone important wanted to speak to them. He would then play TV theme tunes down the phone as 'hold' music until the secretary hung up. A live caller would represent the company, guessing how long the secretary would stay on hold for in a Banzai betting fashion. Jon Culshaw adds a Burt Kwouk style voice to the proceedings, which was so good it was almost impossible to tell from the real thing.

Guess Who (2001-)

Whenever one of the team spots a celebrity (a loose definition) out and about they get the rest of the team to guess who they saw by asking yes/no questions. Each player can keep on asking questions until the answer is "no", and the winner is the person who eventually guesses the celebrity's identity. This game was originally started by Producer Will. A partially memorable game was when the feature lasted ages, as Dave said that the celebrity "couldn't be any more English", despite the person being Sean Connery.

Half Time (2004-2009)

The bit of the show at about 9:05 when Chris and Dave "kick back and relax" for 10 minutes by rambling about nothing in particular. And yes, that is two thirds of the way through the show, smart arse. This bit probably infuriates Moyles-haters, but Rajar (the radio listening figures people) once revealed that this hour is the most popular in the show, despite most people being at work. The bed originally used is 'Tomoyasu Hotei - Battle Without Honour Or Humanity', which can be found on the Kill Bill sound track, but it was then replaced by a specially commissioned version with a more rocky style.

Hello, I'm Listening (c1999 - 2001)

Saturday show feature where Chris phones up someone and they have to answer with "hello, I'm listening" (like Frasier Crane). There would also be variations of this, with different phrases. Sometimes callers would be from Chris' phone book or from emails to the show, and even 'International hello, I'm listening'.

I look like Wayne Sleep, Get Me Out of Here (2003)

Chris and Dave's take on the Bush Tucker Trials in 'I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here'. Someone commented that Aled looked like Wayne Sleep (who was in the jungle at the time), so thought it would be a good opportunity to make Aled do challenges for Jaffa Cakes. Dave put items down Aled's, and Aled had to guess their identity. He thought they where magnets and worms but it was actually Beef and Tomato Pot Noodles. This gave birth to some very amusing noises from Aled, but sadly no Sony Gold Award.

Is She Really Going Out With Him?

One off feature discussing odd celebrity partnerships such as Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones and Chris Evans and Billie Piper. The feature included the 80s tune 'Is She Really Going Out With Him' by Joe Jackson.

Jingle Justin (2001-2003)

Jingle Justin (and his friend Jingle Dan) compiled various features and packages for the show over the years. Memorable ones include: 'celebrities suggest new girlfriends for Chris ', 'celebrities suggest what they would leave Chris in their will' and 'Jingle Justin goes to Spain '. They often featured Justin singing and playing guitar in a surreal and over the top style. Justin first came to Chris ' attention when he played him jingles loudly in the street and begged him to play them on air. Jingle Justin doesn't seem to feature in the show much any more.

King of Tickets (2004)

The King of Tickets (Dave with a posh accent and a bit of reverb) came in to the studio to offer tickets to a football match, which he was unable to attend, because he was busy having lunch with 'The Duchess of Kent', and sacking his gardener. He invited 'the working classes' to call in so they could go to the football instead. He then decided which out of the two callers most deserved the tickets. This had to be both the worst and best feature ever, but it was only played once. Those who heard it will know why.

Jon Culshaw's phone calls (1998-2002)

Jon used to join the team on a Friday, where he would often phone unsuspecting members of the public in the guise of a celebrity. His most infamous call was when Frank Bruno called Lennox Lewis, but we later learned both parts where recorded by Jon. This feature is similar to what Jon did when working with Steve Penk on Capital FM, before Moyles nicked him. Chris decided to drop Jon from the show in 2002 but they remain good friends.

Let's Get Ready to Ramble

See 'Half Time'

Let's look out of the studio window (c1996)

Chris would fill air time by describing the scene outside the Capital FM window. He would almost always 'see' Dr Fox or Steve Penk rummaging through the bins for scraps. He would also get people who where driving past the building to flash their headlights. Old school, eh?

Midday Chocolate Money (2001)

A tribute to Richard and Judy's 'Midday Money' feature. Dave would set a very easy multiple choice qualifier question, then Chris and Dave would ask caller a series of similarly straightforward questions, which they would do in a Richard and Judy style (giving the answers away etc.) But instead of winning £500 for each correct question, they would win a chocolate coin. They used to play this game at exactly midday on the Saturday show.

Monday Surgery (2003)

Chris was once stuck in his car on his way back from Leeds, so had the pleasure of listening to the entire Sunday Surgery show with Dr Hamilton and Emma B. This lead to him suggesting that listeners with less serious issues should call 'Dr Chris' and 'Nurse Dave' for their advice on the Monday afternoon. They did this a few times but it didn't really work.

My Mummy is Younger Than Will (2003)

One off feature in the second batch suggested by listeners, where young listeners, who had mothers younger than Producer Will, obviously, rang in to inform the team of this fact. Camp music and jingles accompanied.

Mystic Horse (c2000 - 2002)

Chris would lead the 'mystic horse' (two sound effects) into the studio, who would then offer yes/no psychic advice, usually about who would win a football game.

News Feet (2002)

Online feature, where you had to guess which feet belonged to which monkey from the Newsbeat offices. As with most wordplay features, this one was invented by Dave.

The Not (1998)

A spoof of showbiz news type packages, such as those you may find on commercial chart shows offering entertainment news. 'Crusty Smiles' would read out celebrity news very fast with over the top jingles in a very over-produced style, with the twist that "it's totally untrue". He would read out the story then play an out of context clip.

Office Dares (2001)

Chris , Dave, Lizzie and Will set each other dares, as suggested in an email. They included: hiding chairs in the lift, shouting "bloody hell, I'm bloody gorgeous" to the newsbeat office and sitting on Steve Lamacq's lap and telling him "I'm a bad babysitter".

Our Tone (1999)

In a tribute to Simon Bates' Our Tune, Chris would read out tragic letters concerned with people called Tony (get it?). He would then play a song for the Tony in question.

The Old Greyhead Whistle Test (2002)

Producer Will would whistle a tune, and listeners had to guess what it is, which was almost impossible. The title was inspired by the legendary Old Grey Whistle Test music show from the 70s, hosted by 'Whispering' Bob Harris.

Phone Ins (1994-2002)

Not strictly a feature, but Chris would often ask people just to phone in to chat on the show. Sometimes he would suggest a subject or sometimes he would just take calls about anything. He would then usually be rude to the callers and didn't really engage in conversation. This might sound like great entertainment but it usually became a tad dull after a few minutes, especially when he was using them simply to fill links.

Play Your Footie Teams Right (2001 - 2002)

A spoof of the Bruce Forsythe quiz show, where instead of cards, football teams were used. Dave chaired the quiz, and Chris and the team had to guess if teams were higher or lower in the league than the team mentioned previous.

The Poxy Chart (c1996)

On Capital FM, Chris did the show after Dr Fox's Pepsi Chart, so he thought it would be fitting to make his own version. He usually counted down the top five songs which had been going through his head in a Dr Fox style.

Punta or Munta (2001)

The audience where invited to send in photos of themselves via email so that they could be divided into the category of 'punta' (fit) or 'munta' (ugly), depending if Dave and Lizzie found them attractive. The pictures where later posted on Radio 1 ONLINE for all to see. Some chrismoyles.net members sent their photos in, which where quickly consigned to the 'munta' pile. Pete and Geoff started a very similar feature on Virgin Radio two years later. Hmmm.

Receptionist Stopwatch Challenge

See 'The Great Receptionist Stopwatch Challenge'

Reverse-A-Word (2004)

Another feature to be filed under 'Dave's Rubbish Quizzes'. Dave would start reading the letters from the end of a word, with the number of points decreasing every time another letter is read out. Unbelievably, despite being somewhat shambollic on the radio, Challenge TV produced a low budget one off of the show for TV which you can watch on this site. Cynics would suggest this was just to get some easy ratings and publicity (and they did).

Pap Idol (2001)

The team had two members of the public to phone in & sing down the phone. Chris, Dave, Lizzie & Will then (in a Pop Idol/X-Factor stylee) voted for the worst singer to get through to the next round.

Secret Squirrel (2001)

A couple (usually boyfriend and girlfriend) are on the phones. One of them knows something about the other which they have decided is a good idea to revel they know for the first time on the radio. The guilty one has three guesses as to what the secret is, and can win prizes if they are correct. This feature was originally invented to fill up time in Chris ' extended three hour show but he exclusively revealed to chrismoyles.net (ha) that it was a good idea but took too much research.

Send us your money (2001)

Chris said he was a bit short of cash, so invited listeners to sent money to the team. Chris read out their messages on the air for the privilege. He later discovered this policy is against BBC guidelines, so it was banned.

Spot The Difference (2004)

Rachel plays clips of two TV shows and listeners would have to spot the differences between the two. The differences where always the same, as there was always a drill, and owl and a dog added the second clip. It felt like they where trying to make another 'Afternoon Mystery Sound', feature, but this one didn't really go anywhere. There was also another feature with the same name in 2001 where people had to spot the differences between two webcam shots.

Sports Talk (2001-2002)

Will Kinder, who knows nothing about football, presented a spoof Five Live football phone in show similar to 606. He originally co-presented the feature with Chris, but then did it on his own, along with professional Five Live jingles. It would often feature Chris and Dave as callers and featured Will generally '*' everything up, as Newsbeat would say. The feature seemed to divide the audience between those who hated it and those who didn't understand it, but the team seemed enjoy making it, sometimes twice a week.

Stars In Their Flies (17th November 2000)

Chris, Dave, Will and Melinda all attempt to sing Karaoke songs, with Mathew Kelly (voiced by Jon) hosting.

(Dave's) Tedious Link (2002-)

Dave links the previous day's song of his choosing to today's, in a very long winded fashion. Although he says "where the link goes, no body knows", it's blatantly just a mechanic for him to play his favourite music (although it has to get past the music department first). It was originally based on a Jo Whiley feature of the time called 'Tenuous Links' where listeners had to guess the link between two songs. Chris (and formerly Will) ritualistically try to pick flaws in the link at the end of the song to belittle Dave's lack of general knowledge. Although Dave seemed to run out of songs around January 2004, when Dave started repeating choices for the first time, it is unlikely to disappear anytime soon as Radio 1 boss Andy Parfit says "it's an appointment to listen". The backing bed for the link was previously the Bottom theme (Diffusion Remix), and the bed used when reviewing the link was the original Treasure Hunt theme, although Dave now has his own specially written Tedious Link music.

Throwing Mince Pies at the Studio Clock (1999)

Short lived Christmas feature, that, as the title suggests, involved the team throwing mince pies at the studio clock. Many hardcore Moyles fans claim this to be the best feature of them all.

True or False (c1994 - 1998)

A spoof radio feature involving a caller guessing if a statement is correct or not. They would win if they got all three questions correct, but the game was fixed, so it was impossible for the caller to win, even if they where correct. Before Chris presented on Radio 1, he would ask all three questions himself (he was the only one in the studio), but when he joined the BBC the caller was given a choice of which member of the team would ask them questions. The only known example of a contestant winning was on a road show (where Chris was possibly drunk).

Vegas or Bust (2002)

The team where taking the show to LA and Vegas, and needed a member of the public to take with them on their 'road trip', who would help out in various ways. To whittle the contestants down a variety of games where invented. The final heat involved two contestants each day winning a chance to play in the final by correctly answering as many multiple choice questions as possible. The final was one of the most elaborate competitions they have ever done, involving a set of challenges to be completed in the centre of London . Each of the four contestants was given £20, a copy of the rules and a member of the team to accompany them, whilst Chris and Will stayed in the studio. Challenges included: Get a famous person's autograph, have your picture taken with a smiling traffic warden, get a London underground map, get a model of a red London bus, bring back some fish and chips, bring an American tourist back to the studio with you. The winner was the now infamous Paul Tittley.

Viaduct (c1999, 2003)

Two callers are on the phone, each one giving the answer to the previous question asked, which normally involves a humorous answer. For example if the first question was "What is the plural of hooter?", and the second was "Busty Brighton Model Katie Price is better known by what name?" the answer would be "hooters". The loser is usually the person who makes a mistake first, but this isn't particularly important. As you can tell, this isn't the easiest feature to explain, so just have a search in the sound vault. Dave chose the name 'Viaduct' purely because he found it amusing at the time. The original bed used was the Bottom Theme, but the 2003 version came from a V Production library CD, which you can't buy.

Westwood's Where Am I?(2009-10, 2011-present)

Tim Westwood would record a series of clues as to his whereabouts in the world, with the team taking a guess at his location after each clue. The first team member to guess correctly would then read out texts from listeners who had also managed to correctly identify Westwood's location. Much of the hilarity in this feature came from Westwood's inability to pronounce many of the more exotic place names involved in the feature.

Whattity What (2005)

In a tribute to Blankety Blank, Chris reads out sentences and asks callers to identify the missing words, which he has replaced with the word 'what'.

Where's Aled? (2004)

Aled hides in a different place in the UK every day and the listeners have to find him. When they spot him they have to say a predetermined 'password' down the phone to Chris. Aled would give some vague clues through the show as to his location. The winners won the chance to win a trip to Portugal to watch some of the Euro 2004 games. It sounded like a good idea (even though it was probably invented by some sort of 'creative department') but it dragged on a bit. They bring this feature back occasionally for outside broadcasts.

Who's in the Doghouse (c 2001 - 2002)

Saturday show feature, with theme music was to the tune of "Who let the dogs out" by the Baha Men. Male callers rang up to explain why they were in the doghouse with the other half. It usually involved a yarn about too much alcohol during the previous night.

Will's Music (2002)

Amazingly, a chrismoyles.net inspired feature. Chris used to play "Will's Music", in which Producer Will would fill in the gaps. Someone from this site blanked out Will talking, so you could play at home. However, when Chris found this, he suggested that listeners sent in remixes of it. The best was almost undisputedly a PPK dance style mix, which was easily good enough to be a proper single. The actual music is called 'Goofy' and is taken from some obscure production library CD, which you are unlikely to find. It has also been used on 'Vision On' and 'The Burbles'.

Word or Words (1997)

Chris plays a clip of a celebrity talking with a particularly obvious word missing. Callers would then suggest humorous words which could fill the gap.

Article compiled by Jimmy G, with contributions from: MC, Uglybob, Sidla, Quincy, DemonHorse, Nicola_Red

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