[kaykay2]

i am having a bad time of late with my fella but we always work it out then fight the next day im feeling insecure but dont know how to tell him.

[Quincy]

tell him youre feeling insecure.

[Ballbag]

Cut and paste what you just wrote into a word document, and then print it out. Then present it to him, or read it out loud to him. Either way, THINK FOR YOURSELF!!!.

[Longview01]

leave him

to be honest hes in a uncaring and abusive relationship, i can only imagine he is already banging the of the following:-

girl next door/your best frined/work friend/your sister
or all 4

[Boboff]

Cut and paste what you just wrote into a word document, and then print it out. Then present it to him, or read it out loud to him. Either way, THINK FOR YOURSELF!!!.

How very Rude

You need to address the core fundamental issues which make you feel insecure, insecurity, the need for approval from others, stems from feelings of inadequacy. You need to work on yourself, and stop needing people, look at love and a relationship as the opportunity to give love, not recieve, when reciprocated this is what happiness is made of. Try to ignore the need for reassurance and get on with what makes you happy, you will find that the happy and strong person you become as a result will be so attractive to your man, that the constant need for you to be told how they feel, will be replaced with there need to show you how they feel.
Best of Luck, and I hope it works out for you.

If he can't accept the new stronger you, then at least you can leave the relationship being happy with yourself, and able then to form stronger future relationships based on this new, I call "cherrishing" based love.

[Nicola_Red]

You don't say why you feel insecure, kaykay. what is this feeling based on? how old are you? (I only ask that cos I think you become more confident as you get older, or that's my personal experience anyway.)

[Ballbag]

You don't say why you feel insecure, kaykay. what is this feeling based on? how old are you? (I only ask that cos I think you become more confident as you get older, or that's my personal experience anyway.)

How old are you, oh wise one?

[Sidders]

Dump him and go out with me.

[Yudster]

Where is Kendra when you need her? Ah well, in her absence, I will say on her behalf - "Stop it Sidla!"

[Nicola_Red]

You don't say why you feel insecure, kaykay. what is this feeling based on? how old are you? (I only ask that cos I think you become more confident as you get older, or that's my personal experience anyway.)

How old are you, oh wise one?

32, and i certainly never claimed to be wise, I just meant that I've become less insecure and more confident as I've got older.

[kaykay2]

thanks, but my fella is not cheating on me with anyone.
im 20years old, his sister is the cause of most of our problems.
he is an ex drug dealer and he has two kids but only gets to see one of them so he can be cold hearted.

[Sidders]

He don't sound much good to me.

[MK Chris]

he is an ex drug dealer

Yeah, is that what he tells you, that he's stopped doing it...

he has two kids but only gets to see one of them so he can be cold hearted.

Why does not being able to see one of his kids make him cold-hearted? To be honest a dealer shouldn't be allowed near his kids.

[Nicola_Red]

im 20years old.

well, I was a very different person at 20 to how I am now, I would feel jealous and insecure at a lot of things that wouldn't bother me in the slightest these days.

his sister is the cause of most of our problems.

how so? are you insecure about her relationship with him? I'm not quite following.

[kendra k]

Where is Kendra when you need her? Ah well, in her absence, I will say on her behalf - "Stop it Sidla!"

sorry to let you down, yudster. i've started school. but yeah, down boy, sidders!

kaykay, seriously don't be a freaking doormat!

[Yudster]

See, I knew all we needed was Kendra......!

[Walter Sobchak]

Although, I agree, that KayKay should not be a freaking doormat, it's not always as easy as that to make a break.
sometimes life is a roller coaster ride, and it may be very hard to get out off.


I don't know your full situation KayKay, you say he can be cold-hearted, not completely sure what you mean by that?
Take a look at these links.

bbc/relationships
iVillage/relationships
female first forum
womensaid (just in case)

I hope this doesn't affend you in any way, and you can get some help from them.
[/list]

[Mr Pointy]

Hey kaykay. Been a couple of days since you posted. How you feeling now?
Insecurity isnt something to be ashamed of, nor dimissed. It can happen to anyone no matter how old. You need to (as said earlier) address the root cause of your feelings and try and solve them. Talk to your fella and tell him how you feel about him, his situation and his sister. Also listen to what he has to say, and where necessary encourage him to express how he feels. Dont push him though, otherwise he may withdraw further.
You only get one shot at this thing called life. Dont waste it by not acting on your feelings. If you let this fester things will just get worse. Talk to him openly and honestly, and then make a decision as to whether you want to be in this situation.

[kendra k]

Posh were robbed! Eveton NEVER deserved to win Dave!!

mr. pointy, pretty sound advice, but come! at least spell everton right!

three days or so, and i'll be getting my everton kit!!!!!

[Yudster]

Kendra and Mr Pointy re-united? This is interesting........

[Mr Pointy]

Posh were robbed! Eveton NEVER deserved to win Dave!!

mr. pointy, pretty sound advice, but come! at least spell everton right!

three days or so, and i'll be getting my everton kit!!!!!

So changed! We're you at London Road??

I've been in a relationship myself where i was insecure. I realise that no two situations are ever alike but talking to my then girlfriend really helped matters. Once she understood what was going on in my head things became alot better between us. Although we're not together anymore we remain close friends. Honesty really was (for me anyway) the best policy! Whatever you decide to do though kaykay, I hope it works out for you, but do whats right for you, not whats right for everyone else.

[kaykay2]

well i was invited to his sisters wedding and it felt like i wasnt wanted as he was around his mates all night talking about motor bike and racing cars and im not into that so i kept drinking and then this guy started talking to me and he hit my fella for ignoring me and his sister said i ruined her wedding and since then its been like this she also uses him as a babysitter even when she is in the house with them and it anoyes me.

[Mr Pointy]

So in otherwords you're being blamed for the actions of others and the fact that your "boyfriend" took you to his sister's wedding and ignored you once you were there?? I totally get that you love him, but for YOU, is this right?? Do YOU need to be in a relationship where you are made to feel to blame for the actions for others?? Kaykay, for once be selfish and look after you, not everyone else!!

[kendra k]

you're hanging around people who will punch each other? hmmm. get out of this stiation, and use punctuation. i'm not sure who's doing what to whom, which is bad. but yeah, your boyfriend and fam sound lame.

[kaykay2]

this guy punched my fella because he thought he wasnt treating me fair my fella never hit out he's nothing like that.
ive seen him today and he seems closer but thats untill he goes back to his sisters place and when i call she shouts down phone. its not him its her.