The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
By MC
#246715
Review By MC:
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7AM Newsbeat 1. Robbie Williams - Rock DJ, 2. The Killers - When You Were Young, 3. Jealousy - Lucy 7.30AM Newsbeat 4. The Feeling - Never Be Lonely, 5. Madonna - Music, 6. James Morrison - You Give Me Something 8AM Newsbeat 7. Kasabian - Empire, 8. Jamelia - Something About You, 9. Lil' Chris - Checkin' It Out 8.30AM Newsbeat 10. The Kooks - She Moves In Her Own Way, 11. David Guetta Vs The Egg - Love Don't Let Me Go, 12. Ash - Girl From Mars (Daves Tedious Link), 13. Bob Sinclar feat. Dollarman & Big Ali - Rock This Party, 14. The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger, 15. Sugababes - Ugly 9.30AM Newsbeat 16. Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland - Promiscuous, 17. U2 - Elevation (Tomb Raider Mix), 18. Axwell feat. Steve Edwards - Watch The Sunrise

JK has made a dance record. That was the big news at the top of the show today, although confusion remained over Tony Hadley’s involvement. Odd I know. JK said he met up with Tony at Heathrow airport, while picking up his girlfriend (ex Hearsay babe Suzanne Shaw) at the weekend. Moyles said he wanted a copy of the track, and Dave offered DVM’s support in getting the record released. That basically constituted Dave handing a copy of it to Tony Byrne, and walking away with a 30% cut for himself. Brilliant. Germany beat San Marino 13-0 last night in the Euro 08 qualifiers, with five goals for Lukas Podolski. Dave was watching the England game in town with Jamesie and Colin, and the Germany score flashed up 10-0 when he went to the loo. It was 13-0 when he returned, much to the anger of a Glasweigan guy sat at the next table, who had 12-0 down on his pools coupon. Chris congratulated Leeds striker David Healy for his brilliant hatrick last night, as Northern Ireland beat Spain 3-2 in Belfast. I think his last goal was as good as anything we’ll see all season. Rachel was doing pilates last night, which I understand is some kind of deep tissue, yoga type malarkely. She said it’s good for toning, posture and strengthening of the muscles. Chris told her she should really lose her bingo wings first. Fair point. Just three and a half weeks until The Great North Run by the way - everyone on the show bar Moyles is running it.

Chris and Sophie went to The Ivy in London last night for a lar-dee-da meal with Jon Culshaw and his missus. Well I say that, but Chris had fish and chips. Proper northern grub. Dom’s been there before, for lunch with Georgina Bowman. While there he saw Sienna Miller and Steve Buscemi. Chris did some celebrity spotting off his own, although Robert Lindsay, Claire Sweeney and Christopher Biggins didn’t quite live up to that standard. They were three guess who’s which filled a link in any case. Moyles said him and Rachel are going back there shortly for lunch and a “chat about the show”, which has been sanctioned by Ben. Sad I know but I’d like to be a fly-on-the-wall for that. I’m always interested in what goes on behind the scenes. Adam from Wolves texted in to say check him out - him and his missus went out for dinner in Walsall last night, and spotted Jennie Bond. Dave sounded positively bemused, saying there’s surely not much Royal action going on there. Good to see he’s keeping up with the times, she left that job over three years ago.

A Project B Update - Plus The Killers, Vaughan and Vera:
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Project B News next - Moyles is up to 9th in the Amazon pre-order chart, just one place behind “Making Waves”, David Hasselhoff’s autobiography. A reminder that the book, ”The Gospel According To Chris Moyles”, is released on October 5th. Enter the chrismoyles.net competition here to win one of five free copies. Chris played that awful Lil' Chris track that has criminally made the Radio 1 playlist. He’s the fifteen year old lad that was on Channel 4’s Rock School. I had the misfortune of seeing him on Popworld the other day, although anything bar Alexa Chung is a distraction on that show as far as I’m concerned. The music was absymal today anyway, you could count the number of good records on one hand.

The Killers competition again took up most of the 8-9am hour this morning. *sigh*. Those morons who didn’t quite grasp the concept of the giveaway (after almost a week) were ringing in even before Chris had asked the question. Moyles should have put them on the air and berated them, but he did it off air at the back of the studio while Dave and Rachel filled with boring, corporate guff. In the Radio 1 Casino today were Sarah from Burnley (who got two tickets), John from near Brighton (who got two tickets) and Stacey from London (who got five tickets and nearly cried - great for the ratings).

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Johnny Vaughan is off sick from Capital Radio today, prompting rumours on the text that he would be sat at home in bed, tuning into Chris for tips. Moyles said that he hasn’t met Johnny Vaughan socially (Vaughan refused to meet him backstage at the Brits) and that he was just goofing on the guy. He said it was simply his job to annihilate him in the figures, just how he would if his own mother was up against him on another station.

Dom - Is your mum a DJ?
(pause)
Chris - She does Country 1035
Dom (laughs) - Does she?
Chris - Yeah, Vera In The Morning
Carrie - What from her front room?
Chris - Yeah, she’s got an ISDN line and everything..
(Dave does his pig squeal laugh)


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In very bizarre developments today, Chris got an e-mail from Robert Harris - cousin of ex Leeds United footballer Byron Stephenson. It’s Byron’s fiftieth birthday today. Odd because it’s my dad’s 50th today as well. Although I can assure you I’m no relation to Byron. This led on to a very surreal discussion about Byron Stingley. Don’t ask. Other texts included one from a bloke who said Dave had smiled at his wife randomly in the street the other day (on her first day working in London) - and one from sexy England footballer Rachel Unitt, who wanted Chris to mention her mate Sabrina, who’s going back to Canada today. It seems Rachel is now a showbiz friend of Chris’s, and she was in his top 8 friends on MySpace - although it seems he’s now cancelled his account. Dom and Carrie accused Chris of having an online relationship with her. He denied it.

Dave - Didn’t you have a conversation involving webcams?
Chris - Nooo!
Dave - I thought you held up signs on a webcam saying “look at me, Chris Moyles” and “look at my unit”
(Carrie laughs)
Chris (laughing) - No


Dave repeated his belief that anyone who uses a webcam is a social dysfunctional. Cue Aled. The Welsh one had news that Robbie Williams’ management had been on the phone and invited Chris to Robbie’s gig at Roundhay Park in Leeds this weekend. Moyles played the “Hallelujah” stab. I’ve missed that. How sad. After pestering them all week, Chris said he now had plans. His response was something along the lines of ”Too little too late losers”. Cue an alphabetic list of insults which was hilarious. He then added four tickets for Saturday would be great.

Aled Meets Paul McKenna:
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Aled went to see friend of the show Paul McKenna yesterday, to help him cure his fear of flying, just ahead of his late birthday weekend in New York. Aled departs tomorrow afternoon, and won’t be on the show again until Tuesday. He said he found yesterday fascinating, and now feels genuinely OK about the flights. McKenna, who was on the phone from his roof terrance during half time, taught him the old tapping of the collarbone trick, and told Aled to visualise his bad flying memories playing backwards, while he turned up the Benny Hill music. We know all this because Chris had clips. Moyles said they were so long Paul would be sending the show an invoice.

According to Aled’s blog he was also hypnotized for eleven minutes, which wasn’t mentioned this morning. There was a fake gag though that everytime the team said certain words, notably ”bananas” or ”amazing”, Aled would either tell Dave he loved him or plug Paul McKenna’s website http://www.paulmckenna.com. I presume Chris had these clips on his cartwall to just fire off, although they certainly created the illusion it was really happening. The highlights of the link (for me) was McKenna’s Little Britain esque celebrity timecheck, and the story about how he recently invited Moyles to a party, which he then talked about on the air - drawing complaints from those not invited. Chris also suggested it might have been some sort of kinky party, which McKenna denied. Paul is currently writing a new book on quitting smoking, and has just done an American deal that he can’t talk about yet. He also recalled his sessions with Chris a couple of years ago, when Moyles said that if his plane crashed, it’d be typical that there was someone more famous than him on board, so he would only be a sidenote in the newspaper reports. Rachel said even in death, he was thinking about his ego.

Dave - That’s it, if you’re gonna go you might as well get some press out of it!
(Rachel laughs)


The last half hour of the show today was pure class. Short of material, Chris decided to do impromtu quizzes until ten. A billion times better than doing the lurgy, which seems to be the default feature to close most days. Moyles adopted his legendary Chris Tarrant impression, as Dom and Carrie played ”Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?”. They then played a slightly half arsed version of ”The Weakest Link”, during which Carrie was voted off. Dave said he was apparently a question on Weakest Link the other day - something along the lines of "Who is Chris Moyles’ sidekick? Tragic Pete or Comedy Dave?". The contestant went for Tragic Pete.

Celebrity Tarzaaa-aaa-an:
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Hannah - an insurance broker from Barnstaple in Devon. Cue boring dull insurance chat.

Today’s additional prize was Spooks: Season 4 on DVD, which prompted a classic story from afternoons about the time Will and Dave went to visit the Spooks set. Chris (the only Spooks fan on the show) didn’t, because it was a Monday morning and he was in Leeds, with Greyhead having forgot to tell him all about the trip. Glory days eh. Hannah guessed Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost) for the Tarzan and was wrong, as per usual. Dial 08700 100 100 just before 8am tomorrow if you want a guess.

One Road Travel:
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Simon McCabe - from Ballycohen Road in Belfast.

He loves golf, prawn sandwiches, Ulster Rugby Club and was at the Leeds Festival the other week too. He also once had dinner with Chris Tarrant.

Daves Tedious Link:

Zoe Sunshine On A Rainy Day - If you know anybody called ”Zoe”, the chances are she’ll be the last name in your phonebook - Your phonebook is where you store numbers - Numbers are central to the business of arithmetic, which comes under the general heading of “Maths” - Maths is a compulsory subject at GCSE level, along with English and I think maybe even French - French is spoken throughout France and even in parts of Canada and across much of North Africa - North Africa is where you’d find Morocco, which was the setting for the classic film ”Casablanca” - ”Casablanca” literally translated means “White House” - The White House is where George W Bush hangs out - George Bush shares the same surname as Kate Bush, who had hits years ago with ”Running Up That Hill” and of course ”Wuthering Heights” - ”Wuthering Heights” is also the title of a book by Emily Brontë, who was from Bradford, or round there somewhere, a bit like Tasmin Archer and Terrorvision - Terrorvision had a top 22 hit in 1995 with ”Some People Say” - and 1995 was also the year that Ash first burst onto the scene with their debut single ”Girl From Mars” - Which links us to Ash and Girl From Mars

ALMOST SEAMLESS
*French is not compulsory at GCSE anymore.
*”Girl From Mars” wasn’t Ash’s first singe, it was ”Kung Fu”.
*Emily Brontë was born in Thornton, Yorkshire - not Bradford, nor Haworth (which Dave corrected himself by saying).

< Revamped Tedious Links Page Launches This Weekend: http://www.chrismoyles.net/mw/tediouslinks.shtml >

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Coming Up Next Week:
Sunday - New episode of The Little Chris Moyles Show is due on YouTube.
Monday - Chris has tickets to see Radio 1's exclusive Scissor Sisters showcase.
Tuesday - Will Ferrell is in the studio.
Wednesday - Nelly Furtado joins the team live.
By Fathomer
#265335
should I review Mondays Show?

Or are you putting the reviews to pasture for the next couple of weeks?

Thanks, didn't spot that, show is up

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