The TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
Radio One is playing classic British songs from British solo artists today in preperation for the Brit awards on Wednesday evening. There is also a competition running accross Radio 1, where you have to ring in if you hear a record by non-British artist to have a chance of winning tickets to the Brits.

The show opened with JK and Joel playing John Lennon's Imagine. Chris commented that the listeners should now be raring to go with that rip-roaring classic. It's the beginning of the show and Chris felt like killing himself already. He then went on to play a more apt Let Me Entertain You by Robbie Williams. Chris said that as all Robbie Williams fans know, Robbie always gets that song wrong when he performs it live. He always sings 'Come on come on...' when he should be sing ing 'Let me entertain you' or vice-versa. Dave commented that that is a sign that Chris has seen Robbie live too many times. Dom's chair mad a squeaking sound and Dave recollected that there is a box of WD-40 upstairs that he could use to fix the chair. Chris said that a box of WD-40 would be a great present to give away in aid of Valentines day. Dom's missus had slipped a card into his bag but he's feeling bad because hasn't even got a card for his missus yet. He said he will get one on the way home.

News – Carrie wasn't on today, so Dom is reading the sports news. It was later revealed that Carrie is ill.

Dave gave Dom some WD-40 to put on his chair, but he wasn't sure if it would be against studio regulations to put it on the chair during the show. Rachel had a valentines present, but she didn't buy Mally a card because she doesn't agree with cards. She just likes to make it a special day by going out for a meal or something. Her present was some pink 'I love you' socks with a £1 sticker on the back! She hadn't got him anything, so simply wrote a note saying 'thanks for the socks'!

Jamiroquai – Cosmic Girl
Jamelia – Superstar

Dave was out last night, and Chris could tell because he's acting giddy. He had been out watching the Zutons. Chris had spotted a mistake with the British anthems trail, in that it opens with the French National Anthem. Rachel defended it by saying it was a excerpt from The Beatles' All You Need is Love. Chris joked by playing the jingle and saying “Bonjour, we're celebrating Great Britain!” in a French accent. Chris breathelised Rachel to test if she was still off the booze, which she was. Chris said he's loving playing the Great British music for a few days. He spent a couple of minutes dancing like JK to Cosmic Girl. Chris texted Scott when he played Def Leppard, who replied and said “I know, isn't this fun!”

Tom Jones – It's Not Unusual

Chris did a crap impression of Tom Jones, Dave said he sounded like a wurzel! Chris said Tom Jones would be waking up thinking he was on tape. Someone texted in saying he sounded like Windsor Davies.

News – One Road Travel came from Dave Lant today. He lives in a cul-de-sac, so all was quiet.

Chris has a new feature where 'Tom Jones' comments on the days news. Chris's first attempt went slightly Italian. Chris challenged Dave and Dom to do a better Tom Jones. Dom's sounded like Ken Bruce. Dave sounded like Sven Goran Erickson.

Pink – Stupid Girls (the non-British track)
Fatboy Slim – Gangsta Trippin'

Chris was still doing his Tom Jones impression, but said the more he does it the worse it becomes. Chris also tried his Chris Martin impression, but said he'd have to stop because if Chris heard it he might not come in.

The Brit Awards competition – The caller currently in the lead from JK and Joel's show was Sidney who scored 'nil points'. His excuse was that he'd been up all night with his kids. The competitor was Emma from Wales. She was quite impressed with Chris attempts at the Welsh accent.

Q: Which male solo artist has been nominated for 5 awards this year?
Emma's answer (EA): James Blunt (Actual answer (A): Correct)

Q: Which band opened last year's Brits with big dancing melons on stage?
EA: Scissor Sisters (A: Correct)

Q: Which Sheffield electronic act topped the charts in 1981 with the single “Don't You Want Me?”
EA: Chemical Brothers? (A: Human League)

Q: The Gorillaz were nominated for 6 awards in 2002, but how many did they win?
EA: 1 (A: 0)

Q: Which band from Staines has been nominated for 2 awards after enjoying huge success with their album 'Stars of CCTV'?
EA: Ooh I dunno! (A: Hard-Fi)

Q: Which star jumped on stage during Michael Jackson's performance in the 1997 awards?
EA Jarvis * (A: Correct)

Q: 'Showtime' is the latest album by which British Urban act nominee?
EA: I dunno! (A: Dizzie Rascal)

3 right answers means she had 6 points which put her in the lead.

Chris Martin is the guest for todays show, so the Chris has got an electronic piano in the studio which Dave has been practising on. He had a go at playing 'In My Place' which didn't sound very good. Chris also reminised about the time Chris taught himself how to play Clocks by using sticky labels on the keys.

Ian Brown – F.E.A.R

Chris Martin had been inpressed by some piano playing when he walked in. Chris has learnt to play some “generic 80's American pop record” chords. Dave and Dom argued that it was the chords form Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper. Chris said he's checked with his mate who's a 'music escapologist' (he can escape from any caught case) and the chords are legally different.


Celebrity Tarzan - Day 7 - Loads of prizes have accumulated now, but will they go to today's contestant, Claire Bruce? Her guess was Jamie Oliver – wrong answer.

Aled did one of his comedy biogs of Chris Martin. After it Chris (Moyles) joked that Chris had now walked out the building.

David Bowie – Let's Dance
Elton John – Are You Ready For Love

The Chris Martin Interview:
I will refer to Moyles and Martin by their surnames for obvious reasons.

Martin said he hadn't been to bed for various reasons. Martin asked why Moyles stands up and Dave sits down, Moyles said he likes to stand because he likes the space and freedom to move about, whereas Dave refuses to stand up. Dave tried to impress Martin with the hydrolic desks. Martin said he was nervous to get too excited on Moyles' show, he's only just got back from America and was really excited to be back.

Martin played at Abbey Road Studios for the first time last night. Moyles said that must have been exciting for him as a musician. Moyles had to shoehorn in his 'Ghettolife' single which was mixed at Abbey Road Studios. Rachel couldn't believe that less than 5 minutes interview, Chris was already on about his failed music career. Dave said as musicians, Martin and them had common ground. Rachel told Martin “wait till you hear it!” Martin asked when “You're my Baby” was released. Moyles said that it had never been released, but Louis Walsh thought it was great.

Moyles went on about his handle-bar moustache which he thought was a great look. He said Martin should try and grow one in time for his performance at the Brits on Wednesday night. Moyles asked Martin if his 'crazy hair' was staying for Wednesday. Martin argued that it was not a crazy hair, it was a look. Moyles said if he had hair like that, he would wear a baseball cap. Martin said it was because he was doing Michael Bolton on Stars in Their eyes. Moyles said he would donate money to his charity if he would do some Michael Bolton at the Brits.

News – One Road Travel – Dave Lant has spotted several kids on their way to school.

Moyles asked Martin if he'd like to go for a drink after the show. Even though Martin is percieved as a non-drinker, Moyles asked him if he does drink occasionally. Martin said that he doesn't like to sell records by how many drugs he takes. Martin seemed obcessed with the news jingles, and wished to do the conversation with the news bed under them. Martin complimented on Dom's ability to read the news with moving desks and keyboards to distract him. Dom has observed something that Chris does on stage, and wished to do an impression of it to Martin. A very visual gag.

Badly Drawn Boy – Silent Sigh
Dusty Springfield – Son of a Preacher Man

Jo Whiley had been in Moyles' studio to chat Martin up. Moyles confessed to Martin that he thinks Coldplay is one of the greatest bands ever to grace the planet. He said that he doesn't think that Martin realises that. Matin said that part of being English is the inability to admit to yourself when things are going well. Moyles said he's got a huge ego, and he can tell himself when things are going well. He said he's the greatest Radio 1 broadcaster since Ed 'Stewpot' Stuart. Martin wanted Moyles to play some records for him, but all of his requests were by American artists so Moyles had to turn him down.

Martin hadn't got much time left, so before he went Moyles wanted Martin to write a song for him. It went something like this:

“I got a house with a cornflake door,
and I take some milk and it opens it some more,
I got a house with some cheese windows,
I don't know why, it's just the way it goes!

Come and eat my house! Come and eat my... I don't know where that's going!!”

Moyles said that should be track 3 on his next single. Moyles then tried to convince Martin to invite him to his house. Martin didn't sound to sure. Martin said he would be alone in the evening on Valentines Day, so Moyles said Sophie his cooking for him and he is more that welcome to come along. Moyles desperately wanted to be friends with Martin, and it sounded like Martin just wanted to get out the door!

Tedious link – A rainbow is what you get when you have sunshine on a rainy day – sunshine on a rainy day was a big hit for Zoe – if you know someone called Zoe, chances are she'll be the last person in your phone - “phone home” was the catchphrase of E.T. - E.T. stands for 'extra terrestrial' and was the film that launched the career of Drew Barrymore – the word 'drew' is the past tense for the word 'draw' – draw is what you do to the curtains when you go to bed – Bedshaped was a hit for Keane – 'Keane' first name 'Roy' used to play for Nottingham Forest and Manchester United, but is now currently at Celtic – Celtic are nicknamed 'The Hoops' – 'hoops' is a word associated with spaghetti – spaghetti is something you would see on the menu alot if you were in Italy – Italy has a very long coast line, which obviously contains a lot of beaches and cliffs – if you were stranded on a huge cliff having been thrown up there by a huge tidal wave which capsized your boat, you'd probably describe yourself as being both 'high' and 'dry' which links us to todays tedious link – Radiohead – High and Dry.

Seamless link? Seamless bar one thing, Celtic are 'the boys' not 'the hoops'. Chris thinks he freaked out a guest more than any other guest he's ever interviewed with Chris Martin. Chris tried to find out what was on his birthday show, and asked if Chris Martin was coming back.

Apparently Celtic are known as both 'the boys' and 'the hoops'. Chris was really upset that he didn't play his specially comissioned jingle to Chris Martin as a lot of time and effort was spent on it. He had every base covered, had a 'Christopher' just in case he prefered it, had a 'rest of Coldplay' jingle, one for the fans, and even one for Butros Butros-Ghali, just in case! The lines were not open for Beep-Beep Busters as they're going to be enjoying the music right through to 10am.

Van Morrison – Brown-Eyed Girl
Paul Weller – The Changingman

Chris can't wait to see Paul Weller at the Brits. Dave has got a card for Chris, Chris opened it and it said 'To my favourite breakfast show DJ on Radio 1”, signed with a question mark. Chris deduced that because it was written with a fountain pen with joined up writing, it must be from Jo Whiley.

Joss Stone – You Had Me
KT Tunstall - Black Horse & The Cherry Tree

News – One Road Travel – All the children have arrived at school. Dave Lant is now learning how to juggle. Fascinating.

Chris had just spotted something about George Michael's Faith – the organ on the beginning of the track plays the tune of Wham's Freedom.

Seal – Crazy
George Michael – Faith

Chris recollected about jamming along to Faith with Travis, when they came into the show. Dave and Dom had been practising during the music and can now do Coldplay's Speed of Sound. Dave nicknamed them 'Folkplay' whereas Dom came up with 'Coldface'. Dave was on keyboard, with Dom on vocals. Dave managed the intro, but Dom didn't get past the first word. Dom was amazed last night as Aled inadvertantly presented Top of the Pops and hadn't even told the team. Dom had the audio of Aled introducing Big City Life with Matafix. Aled came into the studio to deny all knowledge, even though it sounded just like him, it wasn't actually Aled, it was Colin Jackson. Chris said if Aled even met Colin and found out he likes woo-woos they would be partners for life.

Beverly Knight – Made It Back
Chris played Diffusion's Office theme tune remix, before ending the show with Rod Stewart's Handbags and Gladrags.

Thanks, didn't spot that, show is up

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