The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
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Queen – One Vision, 7:00 NEWSBEAT, Kaiser Chiefs – I predict a riot, Sugababes – Ugly, Simple Minds – Alive and kicking, 7:30 NEWSBEAT, Hi_Tack – Say say say (waiting 4u), Arctic Monkeys – When the sun goes down, Erasure – Stop, 8:00 NEWSBEAT, U2 – Vertigo, Meck – Thunder in my heart again, Editors – Munich, 8:30 NEWSBEAT, Coldplay – Talk, Naughty Girl, Oasis – Some might say TEDIOUS LINK, The Notorious B.I.G ft. Diddy, Nelly, Jagged Edge & Avery Storm - Nasty Girl, Ordinary Boys – Boys will be boys, 9:30 NEWBEAT, Level 42 – Listen to love, Richard Ashcroft – Break the night with colour


Before the show started Chris pointed out to everyone, that it was not him swimming in the Thames on Friday & Saturday, it was a whale.


WEEKEND FOOTBALL
Dominic let the team down, as Liverpool was the only team that didn’t score at the weekend. Kidderminster Harriers won 2-1, Everton won 1-0, Leeds won 3-0, Chelsea drew.


EURO LOTTERY
Rachel thinks that now the Euro Lottery has rolled-over again and the jackpot has risen to £100,000,000 the team should start a syndicate and if they win they could buy the Harriers.

A man goes to the doctor’s. “Dr I am having trouble pronouncing my F’s and T’s” The doctor said “Well, you can’t say fairer than that”


DETOX
Chris is on Day 21, but he was out on Saturday night for a meal with friends, halfway though the main course, all the lights went off and some Italian music played and it went from a classy Italian restaurant into an Italian youth club, Emma Bunton was there having a birthday party, with Leigh Francis from Bo Selecta and a judge from Dancing on Ice and everyone was drinking, and as the conga started at 130am, he felt he needed a drink. He is getting a bit bored of it now.


DOM’S JINGLE
Mystery is in the studio, as every time someone speaks, The Fabulous Dominic Byrne jingle plays. Its turns out that somebody has sent in a doorbell and recorded the jingle, and the team have hidden it under a chair, so now, everytime someone presses Dom’s doorbell at home, the jingle will ring around Dom’s house, to alert him of a visitor. Genius!! Throughout the morning Chris records doorbells for the rest of the team.


CELEBRITY TARZAN
3 singles now up for grabs, Shayne Ward, Nizlopi and Arctic Monkeys are all in the pot. Peter Bramwell from Deansgate, Manchester guess’s Graham Norton. Its not, so that means it’s another rollover.


BIG BROTHER CLOCK
Someone has emailed Chris a link which whenever you click, it’s Marcus Bentley the Big Brother voice-over guy and he tells you the time.


BIG BROTHER PRESS CONFERENCE
As usual Aled went down to the Big Brother eviction press conference, although they made Aled go dressed in a red swimsuit on the assumption that Traci would go. Rula commented on Aleds outfit before she even sat down. Q1, Whats your favourite animal RL: Elephant, BBA: Can you do an impression for us. She does. Q2: Do you like spam, RL: no I hate it, BBA: Olives? (although Rula though he said, Honest?), RL: yes, why are you asking these questions? BBA: just want to know. Q3, Rula can you hula? RL: like a good’un. Q4, Can you do a Ronnie Corbett Impression RL: No, I’m too tall. Q5, How long is long man? RL: As long as he wants to be, Q6, Whats the fastest animal? RL: Cheetah. Dave asked Aled if she has big hands, Aled said, yes big hands, big hair.


NEW AND IMPROVED ONE ROAD TRAVEL WITH FABULOUS DOMINIC BYRNE
Virgil Street in Cardiff, Steve Burke informs us that temporary traffic lights are causing havoc.


WORLD CUP 2006
Chris thinks the new chant for fans should be Dom’s Robbie Corbett impression, the crowd shouting, ah no, ah no, ah no, we could have ah no, ah no, ah no, t-shirts printed. Chris went to the Spurs game with Sophie’s uncle Trevor, at an awkward junction, they take a right into another junction into a zebra crossing, a woman crossing road with dog and stops a ¼ way across for her dog to crap on the crossing, holding up all the traffic, after they get on their way again, the come level with her, so Chris undoes window and shouts “dirty cow”, but then gets stopped at some temporary traffic lights, so the woman runs up the street, level with the car and screams “I’m not the dirty cow, it was the dog”.


DR MARK HAMILTON
Dr Mark comes in to see how the team are getting on with their new fitness programmes. Chris is fed up of people saying, “what’s the point of doing it for just a month”. Aled’s pledge was to exercise everyday, Aled kept to his goal by going to the gym everyday and going swimming, and says he as lost 9lbs, and he can swim. This week Aled is going for a badge. Rachel pledged 4 trips to the gym. She did achieve this goal, and has started counting her points again, and she lost 4lb but she went out for a curry at the weekend, although it was a dry dish, and boiled rice, but she did have couple of glasses of red wine. Dave’s pledge was to healthy eat Monday to Friday and do 100 sit ups a day, he has eaten healthily all week, cereals, soups and salads, but he only done sit-ups twice, but he did get off the tube a stop early, although this was technical, not chosen. Dave also watched the Max & Paddy workout DVD, sat on the settee, eating a salad. Chris’s pledge was to walk 5 miles, Chris did meet his 5 mile target by Tuesday, 2.5 miles Monday, 2.5 miles Tuesday, it rained Wednesday, and then he got cab to drop him off 3 miles away, so he actually walked 8 miles. Chris then asks Dr Mark about alcohol and the difference between moderate drinking and binge drinking, what’s the difference between 2 pints a day, or 10 pints at weekend. It’s the same amount of alcohol intake, after all, weight watchers lets you save up points for the weekend. For next week Chris pledges to walk 5 miles again, Dave pledges to continue with his S plan (Cereals, Salads & Soups) and possibly introduce running. Rachel off the alcohol is one the booze for 1 month, starting now. They whole team have pledge cash, betting that she cant lasta whole month. Aled is going for his 25 meters badge, and has moved on to wearing Speedo’s.


RAMBLE
Longman texts in with a comment about a caller last night on the Sunday Surgery for Dr Mark to talk about a foot fetish, and had been caught rubbing his mates feet, while they were asleep and woke up, his friends are now sending him horrible texts. Mark gave appropriate advice. Chris asked if they get a lot of perverts phone in. Chris then goes on to ask any 22 year old blonde nymphomaniacs to text in, started their texts with the word “more”. Dr Mark wanted a copy of the texts and numbers for research purposes.


COLIN & EDITH ON SOCCER AM
Colin and Edith appeared on Soccer AM on Saturday morning, and during the game at the end, where a team tries and scores as many goals as possible in a certain time limit. Colin was acting as a ball boy, and got hit square in the face by a rogue football, much to the hilarity of the team.


80’s hits
Chris has been playing 80’s hits throughout the morning, but Rachel is not playing ball, because as producer, she has to tow the corporate line and cannot condone playing songs that are not on the playlist, but Chris tells Rachel the fact that he is asking the listeners to vote, when she is hauled upstairs by the undertakers for a telling off, all she has to do is print of the votes and say, look it’s what our listeners wanted to hear. Rachel asked if it did not make Chris feel old, playing these songs, but he just said, that it’s retro!!


BEEP BEEP BUSTERS
Line 1 – Defending Champion, Abbie from Brighton, who has a mental laugh, and went to Maidstone Grammar School for Girls, the brown one. Macot is fluffy furry dice, which she hoovered over the weekend, so they even pinker and fluffier today.

Line 2 – Amy from Tunbridge, she sells carpets for a living. 100% wool burber is her favourite carpet, no shag, just burber, she went to Lady Hawkin’s school. Postman Pat’s cat Jess is her mascot.

Some confusion over the girls with answers of “spit” and “swallow”

Abbie wins and goes through to onto the g-spot, although Amy is not happy with that but she goes away with the first ever Beep Beep Busters Bread Bin.

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