The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
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Playlist

1: U2 – City Of Blinding Lights, 2: Jamelia – Superstar, 3: Armand Van Helden – My My My, 4: Gwen Stefani – Hollaback Girl, 5: Good Charlotte – Chronicles Of Life And Death, 6: Ms. Dynamite – It Takes More, 7: Oasis – Lyla, 8: Eric Prydz – Out Of Touch, 9: Bobby Valentino – Slow Down, 10: Green Day – American Idiot, 11: Mylo – In My Arms, 12: Blink 182 – What’s My Age Again?, 13: John Legend – Take It Slow, 14: Foo Fighters – Best Of You, 15: Dido – Sand In My Shoes, 16: Riot Act – California Soul, 17: Reef – Place Your Hands (tedious), 18: Gorillaz – Feelgood Inc., 19: Hard Fi – Hard To Beat, 20: Audio Bullys – Shot You Down, 21: Black Eyed Peas – Don’t Phunk With My Heart, 22: Razorlight – Golden Touch, 23: White Stripes – Blue Orchid


Derren Brown

Chris and Dave went to see Derren Brown last night, and diplomatically (in that they weren’t allowed to say much about it because it would spoil the show for future audiences) said that it was “very very good”. One must assume, then, that they do not consider Derren Brown to be a creepy, Shakespearean-faced one-trick pony. I do, of course.

They did, however, sound a bit nonplussed about the show, though Dave specifically said that he was plussed. They wanted more spooky sounding “woooohs” from Derren Brown. And who could blame them for that.


“Moshi Moshi”

Which is what those crazy Japanese chaps and chapettes say when they answer the phone, and what Chris wanted everyone, everywhere across the UK, to also say, today and forever, when they answer their own phones. It was a craze that swept the nation, or at least the 20-odd members of the nation whom Chris phoned this morning and who responded with a cheery “moshi moshi!”.

It all started with a discussion around Rachel’s inability to use a remote control efficiently, which then moved on to how old people take down phone numbers (big, unnecessary pauses, no concept of grouping the numbers together into blocks to aid memory), which then moved on to how when you’re a kid you’re taught to answer the phone like “hello, 123456, who’s speaking please?” (though I was always told not to do that, or else the caller would have your number... my mum’s flawed logic…), which then moved on to how Johnny Foreigner answers the phone.

Interestingly, “moshi moshi” means something entirely other than “howdy” in Germany. I could have asked a German that I work with but I was too scared to do so in case it was actually truly obscene. I looked it up on the internet but couldn’t find out. What is “mooshi mooshi” in German? Whatever it is, it amused Kristoff from the German booking line of the Four Seasons Hotel (a Japanese company), when Dom asked him why he’d not said it when he answered the phone. Kristoff being amusing led to him being hailed as “The Official Funny German” of the show.

As Chris said, you wouldn’t get John Humphries doing a feature like that…


GCSEs tomorrow

As Chris and the kids are taking their GCSEs tomorrow after the show, they were tested again with a few quick questions on their specialist subjects. Most amusingly, Chris refused to “give two reasons for the development of a tram system” because he doesn’t agree with trams, and on this theme, Dave cursed tram lines as “the curse of all women” because they get their high heels stuck in the grooves.

Sweetest moment of today’s show was Aled being asked some biology question and not remembering the answer, and saying frustratedly “But I did this yesterday!”. Exactly what kids who forget everything that they’ve been learning the minute they get into the exam hall are saying across the nation. Exams are officially evil.


Car Park Catchphrase

Claire from Middlesbrough vs. Amy from Evesham. These two contestants were apparently on yesterday but were so dire they had to be cut off, so they were brought back today to embarrass themselves once again. Amy got “Close but no cigar”, Claire came back with “Set the record straight”, and cleared up with “dropping like flies”. But she only got those because Chris took a dislike to Amy and wouldn’t take her answers. Rubbish as usual.


Small amusingnesses

Dom hasn’t been winded for a long time. Not as in burped, but as in having the wind knocked out of him, by some kind of physical impact. Dave last got winded when he fell off a number 73 bus. When will people learn that the Routemaster open backed bus is a potential death trap? Where’s Lynn Faulds-Wood when you need her? In bed with flamin’ John Stapleton, that’s where.

One of the “moshi moshi” people remarked that she switched off her radio when the news came on, leading to Chris playing the “I Love Horses” song behind Dom doing a snippet of news, which put a smile on everyone’s face. Personally I don’t love horses best of all the animals, I prefer puppies, but I can still appreciate the lyrical majesty of the song.

Chris’s brother’s birthday today. The team all wished him a happy birthday,

Chris: “It doesn’t matter, he won’t be listening anyway”
Aled: “Why doesn’t he listen?”
Chris: “Would you?!”

Longman is off on holiday today, with a picture of Chris strapped to his suitcase.

Show is up, and platinum: https://archive.org/dow[…]