The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
#241326
Well here we go, my first review.. I’m so nervous! I just hope it’s okay, it may seem a bit.. crap, but that’ll be because I’m going to write it in real time, so I’m writing what I hear, maybe I should do that and then go back and fill in and comment. I dunno.. but yeah, hope this is all okay, not too long, not too short.

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Frank Bruno talks about how much Chris Moyles is a God (effectively). Mike Tyson is nothing compared to Chris Moyles – he couldn’t listen to him for “3 hour”.

Chris and Dave notice a similarity between the Rocky Theme Tune and Destiny’s Child - Bootilicious. I thought it was quite a good similarity, but only if you purposely point it out.

2 SONGS

Talk about the England game on Saturday – bringing “Elizabeth” into the conversation, but unsure as she is a girl. Lizzie asks for Dave to back her up! The conversation deteriorates into Lizzie’s drunken antics which we’ve all heard before. Lizzie actually takes it all in and joins in with herself, not getting all down like Mel!

As Dave tries to read an article from the paper, Chris interrupts him.

“What’s the secret of comedy Dave?”
……………..
“Timing”

Always a classic.

I didn’t catch the paper, but from the content, I’d guess The Sun.

1 SONG

Chris rings up The Sun’s Oomph Band – it’s amazing how much crap fits down a premium rate line now-a-days.

DIDO TRAILER

1 SONG

Phone in – Caller who works next to the Oomph house or something!

1 SONG

NEWS

Gets upset about Jamie Theakston and the other woman splitting up.. very funny!
New feature: Lets get Jamie laid!! – Made up advert on the spot, mildly entertaining.

2 SONGS

Rants about Theakston, aww, some jealously there I think! Poppy, sort him out! Hehe.
“Lankly, pretty TV boy” he calls him.
Cameo appearance of Chris’ voice in his head – Evil Moyles.
Some parts are quite funny, others are not!
Will thinks he’s got an out for this.. Chris hopes so as he needs a punchline!
Quite an amusing link.. after a while!

1 SONG

Continues the Evil Moyles and brings into it Evil Will.

TAILER

“Hello, I’m Evil Dave.. grrr….”

1 SONG

Talks about their Detox plan, and Jim Lady Jane. Discussing her coming in and giving them fruit. Chris isn’t too happy about the idea. *Whispers* Trying to feed her chocolate.

2 SONGS

Chris’ new feature: Totty Hunt, featuring the Treasure Hunt music which is an absolute classic! I love the music.. do do do do do.. yeah! Phone in after 4.30.

1 SONG

Enter Gym Lady Jane
Usual Big Blubber update, but live rather than pre-recorded. Nothing special about this, as is normal, but it’s nice to hear that Chris is training, and loosing the weight – he seems very proud of that, and so he should be.
Jane then notices boxes of chocolates, and is offended by it :)
Enter the game: Chris bribes her to eat the chocolate with money, after going to over £200 she still says no – great will power! Ends up being a chunky kit kat and a rocky bar, for £240. Still says no.

TRAILER

1 SONG

Poor link not worth writing about

1 SONG

Tries to bribe Dave with £200 to drink the contents of an ash tray with milk in.

NEWS

I would talk about the football link but I have no idea about the player they’re on about, so I’ll just skim over that.
After that it was the Newsbeat Mess up take 2, from when they * it all up a while ago, not fading in the sports presenter, and Moyles, as usual picked up on that.

2 SONGS

Jane plays a game with Chris, she blindfolds him and makes him firstly touch something, and then eat it.
Chris thinks by touching it, it’s Vaseline. When he eats it, he guesses it’s a Banana.
The second one he tastes is Raspberry, still winging about the fruit.
The third one he finds out is Beetroot!
The fourth one he guesses straight away as lettuce.
The last one Will offers to feed to him…train, woo woo… :)
Quite entertaining actually, as Chris for once is the one looking and sounding stupid, and put into the situation.

1 SONG

The same thing happens with Dave this time
The first one he thinks are seeds... Sunflower seeds. (Chris calls them Mars bars)
The second one he guesses as a raw onion!
*In the meantime Will leaves the studio*
The third one he thinks is disgusting.. it’s hard.. aye. He finds out it’s ginger and he isn’t very happy with it.
The last one – he finds out is pot noodle

The last two links being informative, but does anyone care? ;-)

1 SONG

NEWS

The team talk about getting stuff for free – Thora Hird gets free chairlifts (for 2 flights of stairs! - Will)
He complains about the feature on newsbeat, and makes new suggestions, with the newsreader just agreeing.
Chris and Dave put on a short sketch about doing a report in hooters.

2 SONGS

Launch Totty hunt –

First caller is a dizzy blonde, who’s on the Creamfields site by the way.

Very unfunny.

1 SONG

1 TRAILER

2 SONGS

Chris complains about not being allowed to put a gay caller on the air, or a lapdancer.
Will wants to end the Totty Hunt feature, but Chris doesn’t. Chris gets very annoyed about this and slag’s off Will about it.
Chris is in a comedy cul-de-sac :)
He then turns to Dave for advice, and Dave says, play a record. Voila…

1 SONG

Money scam – A guy writes a letter in who is in a prison cell, and has asked his Nan to send in some money.. with the usual confessions music, Chris tries to be all serious and honest about this, and Dave and Will are laughing about it. Nice twist at the end :)

NEWS

END

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So there we go, hope you have a nice day/sleep, or whatever you’re doing now, and I’ll see you next week for another thrilling installement of, Martin’s reviews!

Small editing gap to come