The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
User avatar
By Chris
#241303
Last day of school today, so I got home early and heard the first 5 minutes of the show, which I usually miss, as I'm just getting out of school. Predictably, Chris started the show by talking about EastEnders. They had a sweepstakes on Tuesdays show, but Dave miscounted how many players there were and 2 of the names were not used. One of those names was Lisa, who shot Phil. Therefore, nobody won - but there was nothing to win anyway because they didn't put any money into it.

Chris talked about Lizzie's bitch, Rachael, again and suggested more wind-up the work experience girl pranks (tartan paint, long stand, glass hammers, etc). Chris talked more about Eastenders and suggested that it was kids playing knock-a-door-runaway which made all the suspects answer their doors at exactly the same time. Moyles pointed out a few inaccuracies in last nights EastEnders, including Mark being at the pub minutes after he had answered his door.

A geordie phoned the show with the name of the knock a door runaway game, he said it was called knocky nine doors, but Moyles couldn't understand him. Chris and John did impressions of geordies, and took the piss of the caller.

Chris talks to one of the news readers about their 12 hour weekend shifts and threatens to join the Big Breakfast (a refference to the sacking of Paul unfunny Johnny Vaughn wannabe Tompkinson). Next, they play a fake Match of the Day program about EastEnders with Culshaw doing all the voices of the football commentators. Not very funny.

After playing The Real Slim Shady by Eminem, John does his usual joke of Frank Bruno singing along to it - mispronouncing his 's's. Moyles chats about todays phone in subject - chessy Service Station DJs.

Call 1: The caller is calling from Clacky Lane and gives it 7/10, but Moyles mistook it for Crappy Lane.

Call 2: A woman phoned up to talk about a really cheesy dj at her local service station, Chris asked whether it was Scott Mills. She said it was as cheesy as radio TopShop, so Chris mentioned that he used to work there (hear his Topshop jingle in the sound vault) and made the usual joke - Half price underwear in TopShop today, yes knickers are down in TopShop.

Call 3: Fraiser talked about the prerecorded dj and his 20% staff discount at the service station he works at.

After the news, Moyles asks the newsreader to play a clip of Tony Blair talking about the tourist industry again. The main thing the tourist industry needs is... (Chris plays a drumroll) tourists. Chris says Tony is a genius and he's glad that the country isn't run by a bunch of idiots.


The team talked about their service station experiences - Chris finds it offputting when breakdown services ask you whether you are a member of a breakdown service while little dwarves smash up your car. Dave asks why there always caravans selling mobile covers from the car park and John tells everybody about his date at a petrol station, promting a barrage of gags (northbound or south?, etc).

A lorry driver phoned up, Chris let him talk without interrupting, but I couldn't understand a word of what he was saying. Chris put the cut him off and said the same. Chris comes up with a new word - pff and said it was something which the dreem team would come up with. A very funny impression of the dreem team followed in which Chris talked right into the mike so it was very loud and you can't hear what they're saying and said Booo several times. Spoony later comes into the studio to talk to Moyles and Spoony does the mike trick.

Spoony promotes his shows, and Spoony confronts Chris about his musical taste. Chris says he doesn't like drum & bass, country and reggae. They talk about which artists Chris likes and Chris tells him to ditch the other two for more money. Then they talked about what spoony likes. FInally, Dave says Milo from the Tweenies looks like Chris Goldfinger.

Chris calls his Saturday producer a useless Fop for not getting a guest, Chris says they were not desperate enough to get Spoony in as a guest. Spoony came back into the studio and challenged Chris to a fight. Moyles said he looked like a pimp from Starsky and Hutch and couldn't beat him in a fight. Spoony replied by telling Chris to pull up his pants because nobody wants to look at his arse crack. Chris said Spoony was just envious of his 'Deamon'. Spoony told him to take his bra off and gave him lots of other fat abuse. Chris finished the verbal duel by saying that the Dreem Team steal all the ideas from his show and when Moyles went on holiday - the dreem team were struggling for ideas.

Live prank call - John phoned the Trisha show as Jerry Springer, asking for weirdos - married cousins, celebrity look a like hookers, dwarves of unicycles and fat woman who look like rosanne. Quite a good reaction from the bloke at Trisha - I'm not sure whether he actually believed it, but he asked for a phone number anyway.

Moyles introduced the Essential Selection by saying Next is the Essential selection with [fill in blank here]. Very true.

Below average show today, not much happening and features stretched over several links. You may notice that this review is just above my last review - nobody has posted any reviews for a week. Come on.

Show is up, and platinum: https://archive.org/dow[…]