[Chris]

OPENING MONOLOGUE: (with tune done by the who for radio 1)
Now broadcasting from Red Crack on Sea it’s the Chris Moyles show! Today we
talk to Chris Moyles as he looks for cream for his septic boil in our new feature, Puss
in Boots ! And now its The man with the huge boil on his ass, Chris Moyles!

Nahhhhhh, you can’t taste the difference

In link 1, Chris has a message for the people who steal the head phones. As the
monologue Chris does actually have a boil on his ass!!! So he shows every one and
Mel feels sick! Chris puts it down to being fat. Chris tells us what he’s had for
breakfast : chocolate cake, cheese cake, left over pizza, curry, beer. What’s your
worst thing for breakfast, or do you have a boil on your ass? Phone in!

In link 2, Chris is still going on about his boil and we get a caller that eats cold chips
covered in brown sauce out of the bin. Another caller has a boil on his penis, he seen
the doctor and SHE said “ahhh bless. Too bad about the boil though!”

In link 3, another caller called with a boil that exploded when a women pushed it.
Another caller ate fried Weetabix and woke up and found blood every where and
found a huge mole that had swollen into a huge puss bag. Nice.

Link 4 brings us the Lurve doctor. One caller can’t see a boyfriend because he’s in
Kentucky. Another caller found her husband waring her clothes, but the problem is
that he looked better than she did. Caller number 3 tells us that his girlfriend is
cheating on him.

VIADUCT STUART -V- HANNAH
Stuart won and will be back tomorrow.

True Or False
No-one wins today, well, thats what happens ever day


97---99 FM____________Radio 1
CRAIG MCCONNELL 12/01/2000