Off-topic chat. May contain offensive language or images.
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By a-moron
#491390
You know those days when an old memory just pops into your head for no apparent reason.
In it pops, floats about, makes you wonder why you came to the decisions that you did at the time.

Well I had one of the moments this morning -

As some of you may know, I worked abroad in my early 20's serving as representative of a holiday firm.
We welcomed you at the airport, accompanied you to your hotel, assisted you with any resort information you required or tours you wished to book.
We also done a bar crawl...

Now the bar crawl was 'supposed' to let you get to know the local hotspots. Indulge in the odd drinking game and mix with new friends.
What the bar crawl actually was, was an excuse for us to get shit-faced drunk and cop off with the best looking members of the group, leaving the poor paying customers abandoned in a foreign place. Shit-faced drunk.
It was getting to a stage where were getting severally reprimanded for our antics; we were not fulfilling our obligation to the establishments who paid a premium to be included in the crawl and we were also performing lewd acts whilst still in uniform. In the end the crawls were stopped and with that our chances of getting an easy number on the board.

It was on one these nights that I attracted the attention of a rather pretty group of girls. I was my usual charming self; courteous, engaging, amusing. Had them like putty in my hand so I did. As the night went on 2 sisters seemed to take a particular interest in the badge. I've got to say this was not an unpleasant situation to be in and I was working my magic with both girls. Never as a pair mind, more interacting when either separated from the group to purchase a beverage, or get involved in one of the challenges. The flirting was escalating, the occasional grope was reciprocated. Things were going really well, so well in fact that I was soon presented with a scribbled note with an apartment name & number on it, followed with a "meet me in 5 minutes".

Result!

I can confirm I may have been under the influence, I can also confirm that I was not exactly sure which sister I was going to be liaising with in the upcoming minutes.
Nevertheless I had a duty to perform...

3 Minutes later and having performed my duty I made my excuses and left, only to be meet in the hall way by the other sister. She angrily asked what I was doing at her apartment, shouting down the hall in her sisters general direction, accusing her of having several unsavoury characteristics. I quickly calmed her down by making up some bollocks about her sister being rather intoxicated and was only making sure she got back to her apartment safe and sound. This defused the situation and brought about smile from the girl, grateful for my almost Samaritan like deed in taking care of her sister.
This gratitude resulted in me getting my fingers wet, a request for a date and me then having to make my excuses and leave.
It was upon me stating my intentions to leave that the girl informed me the night-watchman was on the prowl and to be careful on my way out.
This brought about a slight panic and then an alcohol induced brainwave for me to make my way out the apartments via the fire escape.

I exited the fire door, made my way down the stairs only to be confronted with a door opening out into the reception area. This is not what I was expecting. Bugger.
I then think there must be a rooftop exit that'll lead to the outside world. Make my way back up the stairs, through the exit door and onto the roof. See some ladders.
* genius!
Not really * genius as it turns out. The ladders are there, but shaky as *. I'm still pretty pissed, but this whole adventure has thankfully brought a little bit of sobriety to the party.
I lift a leg over the rooftop and try to proceed down the * ladders, clinging on to each rung like a fat lad with a chip roll.
I take the first couple of steps, then another couple. Slowly but surely I shit myself then slowly but surely I make my way down the ladders.
Success!!!! I reach the stairs that will eventually lead me to the outside. Hands raw from gripping so tight I punch the air. You're a * genius Scotty-boy I tell myself as I make my way down the stairs and out onto the street.
After so much * toil, stress and sweat I have reached the outside world again.

So on conclusion...
I went to some extreme lengths for me to get the * outta that apartment block and to avoid that night-watchman.
Guess what would've happened if he had caught me?
He'd have put me outside.

I'm a tit.
By JayE
#491414
Longview01 wrote:lol, great story


I'm no moderator or anything but I'd just like to point out that the forum rules clearly state that you're not allowed to use text speak. Just letting you know.
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By Longview01
#491416
JayE wrote:
Longview01 wrote:lol, great story


I'm no moderator or anything but I'd just like to point out that the forum rules clearly state that you're not allowed to use text speak. Just letting you know.


Text speak?

You saying I can't say "lol" on here....i've been saying that on here since 2006....

EDIT - Wow the forum rules must of been updated since I last posted here

"No 'txt speak' - please use proper English (this includes the prohibition of the phrases 'lol', 'end of' and 'Fact.')"

It's going to hard not saying "lol" if i'm honest
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By Yudster
#491419
The "no txt spk" rule has been on there since before you joined Longview - but to be fair, it isn't there to stop every single use of "lol". Its more to discourage the posters who write exclusively in text code and put a "lol" after every other word.

So as you were.

I love Badger's stories too.
By JayE
#491424
I have nothing against using "lol" I use it all the time when something is funny. But on here I don't because it says not to in the rules. I was only pointing it out to Longview.
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By The Deadly
#491426
chrysostom wrote:'lol' is now so engrained in modern culture that there's a good argument for it not to be considered as text speak.

If anything it falls under an Internet dialect.

You fall under Internet dialect.
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By Boboff
#491429
JayE wrote:I have nothing against using "lol" I use it all the time when something is funny. But on here I don't because it says not to in the rules. I was only pointing it out to Longview.



BUT my good man, it's not really your place to now is it?

Personally I think being told abit and lol are not allowed, or wrong, when the boards are so * quiet is * STUPID.

But that is a personal opinion and not a personal insult to the people who did it, as that, indeedy, would be against the rules.
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By Longview01
#491431
JayE wrote:I have nothing against using "lol" I use it all the time when something is funny. But on here I don't because it says not to in the rules. I was only pointing it out to Longview.


Oh well I like to consider myself something of a rebel and will continue to use "lol" on here....its not like I type like this :)

"NOW THIS IS TEXT SP3AK AND IT HAS 2 B DA MOST OF3NSIEV WAY 2 TYP3 3VER SOMETIEMS I ACTUALY FEL MAH BRANEC3LS REDUCNG FROM RAADNG THIS CRAP1!1! OMG LOL O W3L HOPAFULY IT WONT LAST FOREV3R!!1!11! OMG"

Oh and hey Yudster, still a big Col U fan?
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By Yudster
#491434
Longview01 wrote:Oh and hey Yudster, still a big Col U fan?


Yes - although I don't know what I have done to deserve to punish myself in such a cruel and inhuman way.
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By Longview01
#491435
Bonanzoid wrote:Perhaps Jay was a bit petty in pointing in out, however stating that you're going to continue to willingly break forum rules is hardly a solution either.


Its not like i'm trolling the shit out of everyone...

What the hell is going on in this community, it appears all the regular members I knew have gone and been replaced by petty people who want to chase away any new members with stupid and pointless bureaucracy.
By JayE
#491437
boboff wrote:
JayE wrote:I have nothing against using "lol" I use it all the time when something is funny. But on here I don't because it says not to in the rules. I was only pointing it out to Longview.



BUT my good man, it's not really your place to now is it?

Personally I think being told abit and lol are not allowed, or wrong, when the boards are so * quiet is * STUPID.

But that is a personal opinion and not a personal insult to the people who did it, as that, indeedy, would be against the rules.


I approve of this post boboff. I probably should have left it to the proper moderators. If they wanted to do anything about it. Apologies everyone.
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By Yudster
#491440
Thank you Deadly.

Badger, you are a silly *.
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By Longview01
#491444
Deadly wrote:I think we are all forgetting why we are in this thread. We are here to call Badger a silly * and that's what we should remember.


haha, I would post up a story from my past but I don't think getting wasted so badly I had no clue what I was doing then having a quick fumble with a fat bird (and not managing to get it up) down a dark Clacton alley would make for interesting reading.
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By a-moron
#491445
Deadly wrote:I think we are all forgetting why we are in this thread. We are here to call Badger a silly * and that's what we should remember.


Lol
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By a-moron
#491499
Deadly wrote:I think we are all forgetting why we are in this thread. We are here to call Badger a silly * and that's what we should remember.


More of this please Deadly. Less grumps, more *.

Night babes.

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